A little info for the wine nympho

Now, I want to say a few things about this wine review thing.
Despite what others will try to tell you, it should actually be a fun guide.
A gas station direction to the turn down the road a spell.

You’ve heard it before: everyone’s palate is different; subjectivity is in the eye of the beholder.
I might think a Barolo is a shitkicking, powerful, feminine wine.
And you might think it’s so tannic, your mouth just shriveled-your head turned into a walnut, and you want your mommy.

I’d love to get feedback, or suggestions about wines to review or look at.
I’ve just got a passion for the stuff. Working for a winery only drives it even further.

Especially when it’s a great one who’s wines you really, truly, do like a lot.

People make the experience. Both making, tasting, and describing the wines.
Wine is meant to be experienced with good conversation and good company.
Remember, it’s a living-breathing organism. Like you.

Ask me anything. I dare you.


Later,

Swg

Jacuzzi "Valeriano" Bordeax Blend 05

These guys have a million wines to taste.
The one that stood out for me definitely was the Valeriano.
I love friggin Bordeaux blends.

It shows the nuances and skill of the winemaker, although I think Napa/Sonoma wines tend to be a little bit high on the PH (it’s the acidity you feel in your mouth when you take a sip) I think they did a good job.

This wine is well balanced.
Immediate hints of tobacco, flowery perfume hit the mouth, followed by a little peatyness.
Scotch like, single maltish (I like scotch, if you don’t then forget I said anything).
There’s a tiny bit of chewy dark black fruit.
The Merlot hits you a bit with some ripened black cherry.

This wine is 41% cab, 31% Merlot, 18% Cab Franc (I like this touch)
9% Malbec, and 1% tiny leftover of Petit Verdot.

The Malbec chases after it like a kid brother.
Cab closing the door after they both run out of the house.
ThERE’s your tannin, 18-24 mo new French oak, depending on what you believe, I think about 20 is what it feels like to me.

Good structure, nice bouncy super ball plum, black fruit finish, but not too “California monochromatic”. No fruity fat guy here.

Fairly close to a French Bordeaux atyle, only about 20 lbs heavier.

All in all a good wine. I’d drink the hell out of it.

At about 48$ it’s price is a little up there; a few bucks less, and it’d be golden.

I give it an 89.
100 based on Heather Graham from the movie “Swingers”

"I wanna go taste some wine!!"

Come over to my house!

You ever been wine tasting up in Napa or Sonoma when visiting California?

Ok.

For those that haven’t it generally goes like this:
You walk into a winery, or a wineries’ tasting room. They ask for a tasting fee. Sometimes it’s free if it’s a small winery, it can go as high as 25$ per person. Some include a tour or other amenity.

Now, 25$ isn’t that bad to taste 5 wines or so. You’re getting 2 oz pours or so, some info about the wines, how they’re made etc.

Some wineries will even bust out the reserve stuff. This means it’s only grown on the estate, more expensive, and higher quality that the basic wines that the rabble might normally taste.

Still not convinced?

Sometimes, you can have 2nds or 3rds of some of the wines you really like.
Especially if you’re thinking about buying something.
Now, this leads me to another point.

When you tourists or trade people go into a winery to taste, BUY SOMETHING!
If you don’t you’re what others in the trade call “fun seekers” which is a derogatory term, by the way. It means that you are just bopping around, getting drunk, and sometimes puking your ass off the moment you get outside, all over the wineries front lawn.

You should be barred from wherever you taste forever. You are an idiot, and whomever you are with should suffer the indignity and embarrassment of dragging your alcohol poisoned ass around and back to the hotel room, thereby torpedoing the rest of the day. It’s just as well,
The designated driver would be suicidal by 2-4 pm after driving a bunch of cheap winos around and babysitting them.
These drivers should be given a medal.

Be respectful of your taster. Chances are they make 15$ an hour(in California, no less, which is like minimum wage) and have to deal with a cavalcade of drunks on a daily basis.

The only saving grace is when an actual “evolved” person comes in and either buys a few bottles, or maybe a case or 2 of wine.
Eat in the morning when you get up. Drink water. These 2 things will save your ass later on after you’ve been to 4 wineries or so, and have eyes that are more bloodshot than Keith Richards on a 5-day bender.

Lastly, before I close, (and I could go on and on)
TIP YOUR SERVER!!!!!
10-20$ is standard, and shows you have class. You’ll be welcomed back, and respected.

You can even go more if you’d like. These tips help the pourers, who’ve given you all the wine info and wine that you can generally handle.

Again, TIP! Those that don’t should be forced to hold their puking friend’s head up in their lap for the next week. As you run around tasting, not buying, and yelling “fuck” as you hassle a poor bastard for another tiny pour of wine.

Ps- there’s a special place in hell for you “fun seekers” that say “oh, don’t be light on the pour, man”. “You poured more for them”.

Listen, I’ve got a solution.

BUY SOME WINE!

Just a few notes to help you out when you come visit.
You might even see me, I can tell a fun seeker from a mile away.
Depending on my mood, you may or may not get the booze you deserve.

And if you don’t tip, I will have someone, The valets, other servers, the Mexican dudes that work in production, let the air out of your car tires.
I mean it.

Respect breeds respect.

Have a nice day, and don’t forget your Tylenol!